He had one of those small greek statue penises
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
