ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
