Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
