We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
