i will never coherently bang her
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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