Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
We are two peas in an std pod
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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