So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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