you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
