Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
