there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
