For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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