she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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