Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize