Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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