if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
