Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
