Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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