Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
