apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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