do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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