When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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