your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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