Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
