if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
