u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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