butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
