Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
