sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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