I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
