Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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