No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
