Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
