On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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