"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
