This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
