If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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