So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
