don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
