operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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