I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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