i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
