I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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