Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
