At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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