Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
