ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize