Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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