don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
