Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Randomize