Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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