So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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