My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
