If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
