She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize