I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
