i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
