All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
