i think my tv is drunk
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
