You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Randomize
