i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize